Making decisions

I have to make a decision. It's a hard decision. It's something that I have been thinking about for awhile now. Like all decisions, this decision affects more than just me.

It takes me a long time to make a decision. I have to think it through and think it through and then think it through one more time. I run every possible scenario through my mind. Weigh the pros and cons of every possible choice that could be made.

How do you know you've made the right decision? Sometimes you don't know you've made the right decision until you've made a decision and have experienced the ramifications of that decision. Sometimes you make what you're absolutely sure is the right decision and find out a bit down the line that you should have chosen the other path. So, can you ever really know you've made the right decision until you've lived through the consequences of what ever decision you do make.

I feel like I've pretty much made up my mind about the situation but question whether I am making the right choice or not.

PETA knows no boundaries

When I was in college, I was a women's studies major and a self proclaimed feminist. I also happened to be a vegetarian. This was a choice I made because I prefer vegetables and fruit to meat. I can easily live without meat. I did not make this choice because I feel bad for animals. Though I would joke with my meat eating friends and tease them about eating a poor defenseless animal to which they would respond by enthusiastically enjoying their meal of death even more.

Don't get me wrong. I don't think that animals should be tortured. They should be killed as humanely as possible. But if you want to chew on Bessie the cow because she tastes good to you and meets some primal need in yourself to kill and eat something, knock yourself out. I haven't been a vegetarian for years any way. I too enjoy a good Bambi burger with sauteed onions and mushrooms.

Anyway, while I was in this particular college self discovery phase, another student who was also a woman's studies major/feminist/vegetarian assumed that I was a vegetarian because I was also an animal rights activist. She came to me one day on campus and said that she had found out from our W.S. professor that I was a vegetarian and that as a feminist I had a moral obligation to protect the rights of animals as well and she was glad that I was with her on this. That was my first red flag that this girl was off her rocker. She proceeded to tell me about this organization called PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) and gave me a pamphlet. I was polite and talked with her for a bit and then found and excuse to go on my way.

The pamphlet looked innocent enough but I wanted to learn more about PETA. I quickly found out that this was an organization of nutters and insane people. They are a very radical group of individuals who take their vegetarianism and animal rights activism to extreme lengths. The more I found out about them the more appalled I became that these people thought they were on some kind of moral high ground with their behavior.

This is one of the first little jems of theirs that I found. If it wasn't bad enough that they are known to throw red paint on people who wear fur, they have no qualms about passing this propaganda out to your children:


While I was looking for the Mommy comic I came across a new jem of theirs. Daddy's kill animals too you know:


Sex sells, apparently it also works for trying to recruit new vegetarians/vegans:


'Veggie Love': PETA's Banned Super Bowl Ad

How about some religious images?
(btw, the catholic church is pppiiissseeedddd about this one)

I am not a big fan of extremists no matter what the message they are trying to spread. I have no problem with PETA's underlying message. I don't like to think that animals are being treated poorly in name of putting food on my plate either. If this is happening then there should be tougher laws and regulations to assure that all animals are treated humanely including the ones we use for sustenance.

I do have a problem with some of the ways PETA goes about their agenda. I understand getting them young but I would be PISSED if I found out that my child was given either of the above comic books. That would be like me walking into a church and handing out pamphlets that quote Niche "God is dead" with a picture of a old man with a white beard lying on the ground with a spike through his heart. It's wrong on so many levels.

I do find the newest ads geared towards adults rather entertaining. Who can blame them for using what works (especially with men between the ages of 18-27) which is, I'm sure, their demographic for the newest set of nakes spokes models.


All I'm saying PETA, don't just be ethical to animals.

Oh, and cuddle with stuffed animals.

Maybe, if they had a cow spanking one of these hot girls you'd find more vegetarian/vegan spankos. I think I'll send them the tip.

Public Service Message of the Day

I came across this and thought it was at a level of awesomeness that I couldn't keep to myself.

End world hunger and get all the pussy, not a bad deal right?

12.1.09

I wonder how much my need/desire to be dominated has to do with my mother. Well, not just my mother, my father too.

I know, I know. How very Freudian of me.

Really though. I grew up with two rather domineering and dominating parents. That's what I'm comfortable with, that's what I know.

I feel safe and loved when I am being dominated. I feel protected and wrapped up in the arms of caring and concern all while being spanked or whipped or tied up and dominated in a variety of ways.

I am not saying I don't enjoy it or that I want to change this aspect of my life. I just have had these revelations lately about my relationship with both my parents really. I have always made excuses for my mother and looked at my father through rose colored glasses.

He wasn't a bad father by any means. He did the best he could in my opinion. It's just that he's not the saint I make him out to be in my mind. It's understandable though why I see him as my savior. He rescued me from my mother's abuse. He wrapped me in a cocoon for a while as I healed and adjusted to life with him. Of course there are events in our life together that he could have handled differently. Anyone can say that of any parent though. Parenting is a constant learning process with mistakes made along the way. That's what makes us who we are and able to cope with our own mistakes when we make them as we're growing (provided our parents handle their own mistakes properly).

If you press me to say why I loved him, I can say no more than because he was he, and I was I. - Michel de Montaigne

If someone asked you why you love the person/people you love how would you answer that?

Ed and I have talked about whether or not you can choose the people you love. I, with my control issues, originally said that yes, you could choose who you love. However, I now understand that you can't choose who you love.

When presented with a question of why I love who I love I could tick of the mundane list of positive attributes that the other person possesses. Yet, this isn't WHY I love that person. Those are simply the aspects which make it tolerable for me to be around or live with them.

Rather I think you come to love someone based on the experiences you share with them. There is a connection that forms that doesn't form with other people. Love seems to be this intense and sometimes irrational feeling that you develop for another person which causes you to want to be in their presence all the time. Deep love makes you want to form a deeper relationship with them beyond lust and friendship. It often leads to marriage or a bonding so strong that it is hard to destroy because even when things get touch you just can't give up.

A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together. - James H. Boren

Working on your marriage is like riding a roller coaster. One minute you're way up at the top of the hill and then all of a sudden you're hurtling toward the ground, screaming, wondering if you're going to crash into the earth that is coming up quickly to meet you.

It is so easy to let the little things go in the day to day management of two people's relationship. It can be too easy to sit in two different spots in the same room and simply co-exist together. It becomes to easy to take each other for granted.

Remember to keep doing the little things for each other. He zips up her dress for her. She fixes his tie for him. This is when you should look into each others' eyes and remember why you love each other.

This goes for all couples. Whether you choose marriage or not. It's so important to remember to respect each other and appreciate the little things you do for each other in day to day life.

I hope to work on this and always keep this in mind with the men I have meaningful, romantic relationships with in my life. I love you and if you aren't feeling appreciated or special to me let me know so that I can fix it.

Spanked for self-pity

As you know (if you are one of my loyal minion followers), I have been battling a major bout of depression. I quit my first therapist because she was very judgmental and it was very uncomfortable and awkward to talk to her. So, after two months I stopped going and went in search of a new therapist. I did find one and think that this will work out better than the last one. I have actually decided to take the art therapy route because it's very difficult to talk about some things from my past. I have only seen her a couple of times but things have already come out in my art that I have been unable to verbalize in more traditional therapy.

Part of my depression is obsessive self-defeating thoughts which I try not to give voice to because I don't want people to know just how crazy I am. However, I was visiting W last weekend (a lovely and wonderful visit it was) and we were engaged in a heart to heart discussion. In the course of this discussion, I divulged my obsessive thought that people don't really like me, they just are nice to me because they feel sorry for me. Rationally I know this isn't true. However, when in the grip of mental illness one does not always think clearly or rationally.

W refuses to tolerate self-pity. He felt that I deserved a spanking for my comment. So, he grabbed the baby strap that I brought with me and gave me several swats with the thing. It was a relatively light spanking but I still understood what he was trying to get across. There are so many people who like/love me for me. It's something that's far to easy for me to forget when I'm wrapped up in my own self-defeating thoughts.

Thank you W for loving me because of who I am and for not putting up with my shit.