Is there such a thing as trying to help someone too much? I become the most frustrated at work when I am trying to work with and help a client and nothing I do seems to help. I feel helpless and useless and I have to work to check in with myself and remember not to take things personally. I am not responsible for their behaviors.
This is hard to keep in perspective sometimes. I want so much to fix everything and to make everything all better for them. I often wish I had a magic wand that I could wave to take away all their anger and pain and confusion.
Tonight I had to walk away from a client. This is something I rarely have to do and feel guilty about when I realize that I am no longer helping the situation. Beginning at 7 am today, our "wild" client was up and in rare form. I managed to wrangle her into some basic form of compliance and emotional control until after lunch. At that point, it seemed as though nothing I did could help her manage her emotions or behave safely or appropriately. she was determined to force our hand into a physical restraint and through sheer will and determination, she won and I left physically and mentally exhausted.
Every staff has gone out of their way to help this client. It seems the harder we try, the more she demands. Working in this field, one needs an understanding that these clients act out and are needy due to the sever abuse they have experienced. However, there has to be a point when you have to stop being the rescuer and force a client to learn how to stand on their own two feet.
I think I've found that moment for this particular client. After the restrain, she asked for me and then proceeded to spend the next hour dodging every question presented to her regarding her behavior and to blatantly ignore my directives and prompts to get ready for bed. She refused to acknowledge that her behaviors had adverse effects on her peers to whom I had promised a special snack for positive behavior and which I was unable to get due to her singular shenanigans.
Obviously, being super nurturing with boundaries does not seem to be in this client's best interest. There are roles we play at work and I often find myself in the role of rescuer. I think I may need to find a way to step out of this role with this client. There is a even bumpier road ahead.
1 comments:
"I want so much to fix everything and to make everything all better for them. I often wish I had a magic wand that I could wave to take away all their anger and pain and confusion."
I've often wished that with you, but it doesn't work. If I ever figure out how to deal with that, I'll let you know. :(
Post a Comment